Tag Archives: Marriage

Nag, nag, nag!

“People have a way of becoming what you encourage them to be – not what you nag them to be.”

~ S.N. Parker

Nellie the Nagger

nag
1. To scold, complain, or find fault constantly
2. To be a constant source of anxiety or annoyance

If you want to push someone away from you emotionally; destroy their confidence; make them angry; or show your true colors – then constantly tell them how they are doing things wrong or how much you dislike them or dislike what they’re doing. Nagging is not only negative, it’s destructive. It is the cause of many breakups in relationships of all kinds and only shows how immature and selfish you are when doing it. Starting today, make a conscience effort to not nag when dealing with someone you care about. Don’t be a nag. You’ll keep friendships alive and you’ll also mature in the process. Now that’s something to brag about!

Who are you?

Online/Offline Personality

Personality Chart

You can generally place people in four quadrants: Amiable; Expressive; Analytical; and Driver.

If you want to increase your success of building better business and/or personal relationships, then first you need to understand what kind of person you are among the 4 quadrants listed above. I am in between Amiable and Expressive with some Analytical. Since I know what kind of person I am, I know I need to find others who share my personality pattern if I want the best chance at a successful relationship. Two people who get along in a friendly manner are also inclined to work well together too. So, there really aren’t any negative factors with finding people who are more like you since you’re most suitable as best friends and/or doing business together. This is a perfect marriage that can bring forth wonderful benefits. If you want to sharpen the other personality types that you don’t possess, then make some new friends who fit those types and you’ll be on your way to finding: stress, love/hate emotions, fear, passion play, bitterness, self-reflection, etc. Aren’t relationships fun. My advice: Always be on the lookout for someone who is just like you.

Little, small, tiny = BIG

Gift for Life

Give 'til it hurts!

“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.”

~ Robert Brault

You’ve probably heard the phrase: “Don’t sweat the small stuff, because life is full of small stuff.” The same applies to enjoying all the small things in life because life is full of small things. In fact, in life, it’s all the small things that add up to be the biggest things we cherish and remember the most. When you receive many small gifts over time from someone you care for, it always means more to you than if you received one large gift at once. The reason is that you have more memories from all the moments you received those small gifts which leave a pleasant thought in your mind. If you receive one big gift, the memory is short-lived even though it might be a very special gift. So, as you live your life, learn to enjoy the little things and attach a nice memory to them so that you can relish all of them as if it were the biggest thing that ever happened to you in your life. The secret to this is to be able to recognize when the little things come into your life, otherwise they could become unhappy big things. Give freely and give often!

Does being “In Love” last forever?

“The difference between ‘Like’, ‘Love’ & ‘In Love’ is the same difference between ‘For Now’, ‘For A While’ & ‘Forever'”

~ Unknown

Everything is temporary in life – life itself, friendship, good times, bad times, memories, and even love.  All we can try to do is to prolong the inevitability of losing what we cherish the most in life. Concerning love, it’s important to understand what love means to you and that your partner understands it too. Two people who are “in love” is much different than loving each other. The difference stems from the commitment, desire, and action put forth to keep the love alive between them. So be sure and recognize the difference between liking someone, loving someone and being “in love” with someone and more importantly, make sure the one you are “in love” with does too. If you can do this successfully, you can obtain something that most only dream of having — true love. Have you done something special for the one you are “in love” with today? If not, do so. Let love reign!

A life without regret

“If success is not on your own terms – if it looks good to the world but does not feel good in your own heart – it is no success at all.”

~ Anna Quindlen

“When you reach the end of your life, do you want to be one of the people who are glad they did, or one of the people who wish they had?”

~ Anonymous

“Make yourself an honest man, and then you may be sure that there is one less scoundrel in the world.”

~ Thomas Carlyle (1795-1881) Scottish Writer

“The best inheritance you can leave your kids is an example of how to live a full and meaningful life.”

~ Dan Zadra

Do you want to live a life that is above reproach and admired by others for generations? Do you want to feel good about yourself and live a fruitful existence in this crazy world? Do you seek happiness for yourself, your family, and for others? Then follow the advice in the quotes above.  Be successful by doing what is best for yourself and others without regret.

Women are wonderful

Portrait of Washington Irving in about 1820.

Portrait of Washington Irving (circa 1820)

“There is in every true woman’s heart a spark of heavenly fire, which lies dormant in the broad daylight of prosperity; but which kindles up, and beams and blazes in the dark hour of adversity.”

~ Washington Irving (1783-1859) American Writer

Successful marriages that are filled with happiness, hope, healing powers, healthy ambition and perpetual love stemming from the fact they have women who do what it takes to keep them together. They find the strength and desire to create an environment for their husband and children that can endure the many hardships that come their way. Women are very instrumental in keeping a family together because of their natural ability to calm men and children who constantly need their care, touch and vocal reassurances. For all the men out there — be sure and show the woman in your life how special she is to you and assure her of your total love for her. She’s more than likely the reason why you are where you are in life.

Try, try, and try again!

Francis Bacon a Rosicrucian (as claimed by AMORC)

Francis Bacon

“There is no comparison between that which is lost by not succeeding and that which is lost by not trying.”

~ Francis Bacon

The only failure in not succeeding at something is not trying your best. Whether it be love, friendship or business, you must always do the best you can with what you have at our disposal to succeed. It’s important to know what you want to succeed at and how you measure the success you seek. If you don’t know exactly what you want to succeed at, how to obtain it, and when you want it, then you will fail. Plan your work and work your plan. Keep yourself fixed on your goal(s) and don’t let anything or anyone stop you. You are all you need to succeed!

What are you looking for?

“In every person who comes near you look for what is good and strong; honor that; try to imitate it, and your faults will drop off like dead leaves when their time comes.”

~ John Ruskin (1819-1900) English Art Critic

This is why it’s important to choose good-hearted, smart and sincere people as friends and acquaintances in your life. Their good habits will create good habits in your life and conversely, their bad habits will lead you to ruins. Is there someone in your life that isn’t good for you or sincerely interested in your well-being? If so, choose to improve your life by leaving them and seek someone who enjoys and appreciates you completely. You won’t regret it at all.

Should I, or shouldn’t I?

“None will improve your lot if you yourself do not.”

~ Bertolt Brecht, 1933

What’s holding you back from doing what you want to do in your life? It’s more than likely you! Only you can decide for yourself if you will fail or succeed in your life, so begin today by telling yourself that you can and will do what you have always wanted to do. Be the best you can be by giving yourself the chance. You can do it!

A tree = A metaphor for life

“The abundant life does not come to those who have had a lot of obstacles removed from their path by others. It develops from within and is rooted in strong mental and moral fiber.”

~William Mather Lewis

Our live’s are like a tree. In the beginning of a tree’s life it develops roots to gain a foothold in the terra firma and relies on the elements as it attempts to grow tall and mighty. As it slowly matures, it must cope with harsh winters, dry summers, lightning strikes, forest fires, floods, high winds, insects and rodents just to name a few. Eventually, it becomes a strong and lovely specie that can endure most any hardship with ease at it lives out its long and fruitful life. So, a tree, just like me will only survive if it is fit, unwavering and lucky enough to have all it needs for a long and healthy life.

A hero for the ages

“Regular exercise is the king, a good diet is the queen, and together they make a kingdom”

~ Jack LaLanne

Jack LaLanne

Jack LaLanne

Jack was a pioneer and worldwide fitness spokesman long before Arnold Schwarzenegger (who also was an inspiration to me during my teens) ever became a household name. I remember as a young child watching him on black and white TV doing exercises from a living room stage setting. He inspired me to be just like him – fit mentally and physically, be a good person, have a happy family and marriage and live with a positive outlook on life. He was my hero at six years of age and always will be as long as I live. I hope to live as long as he did (99 years) and have a happy marriage as he had with his 2nd wife Elaine. He spent 80 years encouraging others around the world to get fit. People like Jack LaLanne should live forever so they can continue inspiring people throughout the ages. He was an incredible human being whom I will always admire. Long live Jack LaLanne !!

Click here http://www.nndb.com/people/697/000022631/ to learn some startling facts about Jack and how he transformed his life into greatness.

Give in to greatness

“It is the nature of man to rise to greatness if greatness is expected of him.”

~ John Steinbeck (1902-1968) American Novelist

What is expected of you? To care for your parents, husband, children, friends, job, business, or even yourself. Whatever things you are to take care of, do them well and to the best of your ability and along the way you will find greatness in some form or manner. Don’t do these things to be great but rather do them in earnest and find greatness from them along the way.

My love is alive!

“The consciousness of loving and being loved brings a warmth and richness to life that nothing else can bring.”

~ Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Irish Dramatist and Poet

If you always strive to be the best you can be as a friend, lover, mate, spouse or human being and do it with sincerity and fullness of heart, you’ll be loved by many. Love, kindness and warmth are contagious which is why everyone who exhibits these traits will find them in their lives.

Heaven or Hell?

“Love can consign us to hell or to paradise, but it always takes us somewhere.”

~ Unknown

Yes, and that somewhere is usually Marriage. Marriage is the same as love because the two are 100% intertwined. If you approach marriage with the big picture in mind, then you’ll have more respect for it and better understand the level of commitment required to keep a marriage alive. Don’t forget, it can be either be heaven on earth or hell on earth, so never marry flippantly. Marriage is the most important and difficult thing you will ever do in your life.

Love is…

“You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is [finally] better than your dreams.”
Dr Seuss

“I love you, not for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you.”
Roy Croft

“Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says, “For the woman I love” and the second, “For my best friend.”
Anonymous

“This day I will marry my friend, the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love.”
Anonymous

“Two souls with but a single thought. Two hearts that beat as one.”
Friedrich Halm

“Love is a promise, love is a souvenir, once given never forgotten, never let it disappear.”
John Lennon

“True love never dies, even if you have found a new love, the sweet memory of the past will continue to hunt you for the rest of your life.”
Unknown

“To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might be the world.”
Anonymous

“Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.”
Robert Heinlein

Why marriage is healthy for men

For hormone-addled teenagers, finding a date can often seem to be a matter of life and death. As it turns out, that may not be so far from the truth. In a paper in the August issue of Demography, a team of researchers led by Nicholas Christakis of Harvard University reports that men who reach sexual maturity in an environment with few available women are at risk of dying sooner than their luckier confrères. The team points out that this finding may have important implications for public health in countries such as India and China, where sex ratios are skewed against women.

The idea that a dearth of available women hurts male longevity has been around for some time. There are several reasons why such a hypothesis makes sense. It is now well established that marriage has a beneficial effect on health and survival. Since women are traditionally the caregivers, these benefits accrue especially to men. If there are fewer potential mates around, men may delay marriage or forgo it entirely, losing out on these nuptial niceties. In addition, with more men and fewer single women, the intense competition for a mate is likely to be stressful. Such early-life stress is known to have effects on health that can last for years.

As reasonable as it all sounds, the hypothesis that a skewed sex ratio leads to shorter male lifespan has never been confirmed in humans. To put it to the test, Dr Christakis and his team made use of two unusual sets of demographic data. The first, known as the Wisconsin Longitudinal Study, consists of a third of all those who graduated from high school in the state of Wisconsin in 1957—about 10,000 people. The male-to-female ratio in each person’s graduating class is known, and provides an indicator of the ratio during the sexually formative years of the study’s participants. The second set of data consists of 7½m white men who were enrolled in America’s Medicare programme in 1993. The researchers found the year and state in which each participant’s Social Security number was issued, which typically happened between his 15th and 25th birthdays. The sex ratio of his contemporaries was then calculated from state-level census data.

In the Wisconsin sample, Dr Christakis looked at those who had died before their 65th birthday. For the women, there was no significant relationship between their school’s sex ratio and their age of death. For the men, however, a significant relationship did emerge. A percentage-point increase in the male-to-female ratio of a man’s graduation class led to a percentage-point increase in his likelihood of dying before the age of 65. The Social Security data, moreover, suggest that a lack of women during men’s teenage years still haunts their health decades later.

The average white American male who was 65 in 1993 could expect to live another 15 years. Dr Christakis found, however, that those who had come of age around the most available women had a life-expectancy three months longer than that of the least favoured. Three months may not seem a huge difference, but according to Dr Christakis it is comparable to the benefit an elderly person can expect from exercising or losing some surplus weight.

In an American context, these results are, perhaps, no more than an interesting curiosity: at the age of 15, boys outnumber girls by about 4% and the ratio shrinks towards equality thereafter. In China, however, it is estimated that there are now 20% more men of marriageable age than women—the result of selective abortion and infanticide consequent upon the country’s “one-child” policy. That bodes ill for the future health of China’s menfolk.

“Love Song”

This is one of my favorite songs sung by one of my favorite artists.

Love Song
written by: Leslie Duncan
Vocals: Elton John and Lesley Duncan
Acoustic guitar and backing vocals: Lesley Duncan
The words I have to say
May well be simple but they’re true
Until you give your love
There’s nothing more that we can do

Love is the opening door
Love is what we came here for
No one could offer you more
Do you know what I mean
Have your eyes really seen

You say it’s very hard
To leave behind the life we knew
But there’s no other way
And now it’s really up to you

Love is the key we must turn
Truth is the flame we must burn
Freedom the lesson we must learn
Do you know what I mean
Have your eyes really seen

Love is the opening door
Love is what we came here for
No one could offer you more
Do you know what I mean
Have your eyes really seen…

What is love? It’s the act of placing another person’s interests above your own.

Below is the very best description and definition of what love is to me. It is taken from the Bible in the “Love chapter” found in Corinthians I:13 and reads like this:

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking,  it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

Love, such a complex word to fully understand, yet something that is desired more than anything in life by all who are human. We are born from it, live by it, marry into it, and sometimes die for it. We can never really learn the true meaning of it unless we have had the good fortune of seeing it first-hand in our lives growing up. Unfortunately, few people are lucky enough to have been born into a family environment that fosters a life that is based on this type of love. Additionally, everyone is subjected to life in a world that is not fair, true, or based on real love. Instead, we are taught to be selfish, greedy, possessive and independent. Knowing this, how can real love ever have a chance in this world? Does real love conquer all? If so, when and how? I don’t know. I wished I had the answers to these questions so I could share them with you.

What I do know is that the reason why real love is unattainable is that many of the requirements of this kind of love are very difficult to achieve and maintain. For example, when was the last time you forgot when someone did something wrong to you?; or the last time you kept moving forward in the face of adversity and pain?; or always wanted to do the best for others and not for yourself?; or always told the truth to your friends and/or your lover? When was the last time you were true to yourself, let alone to others?

Now you can see why real love is so hard to attain even though we are all able to obtain it if we really want to. What must be done to bring forth this kind of love to all? I believe we must start with giving children a proper and sincere example of love – from both their parents and extended family. Then it should be practiced by all: fathers, mothers, grandparents, uncles, cousins, best friends, husbands, and wives. Try your best to consider others before yourself and always have hope and happiness in your heart so that you can encourage others to live a life based on this kind of love. Peace and love to you because love never dies!