Category Archives: Friendship

What is friendship and how important is it in your life.

Love thy enemy

“If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man’s life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.”

~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow 

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow on the Isle of Wigh...

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

One of the hardest things to do is love your enemy. If you really ponder the fact that all our enemies are just like we are in that they desire the same things we desire. They want freedom, power, peace, love, a place to call their homeland, money, religious rights, etc. just like we do. But for many centuries, people have been fighting amongst themselves and with other cultures and nations creating havoc, unspeakable tragedies, and untold sufferings. What can we attribute this to? Is it because men dominate world affairs and women don’t? Is it because humans are more animalistic than they are spiritual? Is it because this is man’s destiny — to always be at war? Whatever the reason, it’s pitiful that people of all races, religions, and creed do not look for ways to live in harmony as much as they look for ways to become more powerful and destructive. If people in power took the time to look into the hearts of their “enemies” perhaps they would find the answers the perplexing questions posed above. Peace to all.

Average is awesome

“The virtues which keep this world sweet and the faithfulness which keeps it steadfast are chiefly those of the average man.”

~ W. Russell Bowie

Perhaps the sweetest thing in this world is being true to those you love the most and them loving you in return. The ability to love is within each of us and belongs to everyone. You don’t have to be educated at an Ivy League school, be a churchgoer at a popular church, have perfect parents, or have a large circle of friends to know how to show your affection and appreciation for the people closest to you. The only requirement needed to manifest your love for someone is with words, action, touch — all done with sincere desire. This is something the average person can do any day of the week and at any time of the day. In being average, we give life to everything around us which gives life to the world in which we live. So, it’s OK to be average as long as you love with all your being and do it faithfully. Doing this makes you awesome!

Defining yourself

“Accept no one’s definition of your life, but define yourself.”

~ Harvey Fierstein

Harvey Fierstein 2 Shankbone Metropolitan Oper...

Harvey Fierstein

When you listen to others who tell you what kind of person you are (or aren’t), you lose something very important — your own view of yourself. Although it’s important to listen to others who critique you, it’s more important to define yourself by your own measure. You know yourself better than anyone else and you see yourself like no one else does — from the inside out. If you’re going to listen to anyone, just make sure they are people you admire, respect and trust. With their help, you can become someone who others look up to and desire to be like. Just make sure you are in control of how you see yourself, otherwise you will never be all you can truly be. How do you define yourself?

Finding yourself

“Life on the open road is liberty….to be alone, to have few needs, to be unknown, everywhere a foreigner and at home, and to walk grandly and solitarily in conquest of the world.”

~ Isabelle Eberhardt

Isabelle Eberhardt

Isabelle Eberhardt

Being alone isn’t the same as being lonely. Finding your way through life requires that you do it alone sometimes so that you can become strong enough to endure and bear all the burdens that life brings you. Finding yourself along life’s journey is something that makes you complete and gives you a sense of fulfillment. Take the experiences you encounter on this journey and keep them with you at all times so they can be a shield of armor to protect you from all the arrows life throws at you.  Then you’ll be able to wander this world with confidence and with a commanding presence. Now, go conquer the world with your shield and show others how to do the same.

Portions of life

“The best portion of a good man’s life is the little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love.”

~ William Wordsworth (1770-1850) English poet

“The surest cure for loneliness, the quickest way to happiness, is found in this, a simple creed: Go serve someone in greater need.”

~ William A. Ward

Create many small unremembered memories based on acts of kindness and love instead of big remembered memories that are void of love and kindness, and you’ll live a life worth remembering. One thing you can do is to “Whine Less and Give More.” The more I talk about my problems and focus on them, the worse they seem — and the worse I feel.  I’ve discovered when I feel bad about my life, I go do something for someone else. Then I feel better. It’s amazing how that works — even if it’s not every time. Go do something nice for yourself by doing something nice for someone today!

Life Blooming in Beauty

Special thanks to Tim Coffey for use of his illustration.

Be beloved and you’ll be loved

“It is a good thing to be rich, it is a good thing to be strong, but it is a better thing to be beloved of many friends.”

~ Euripides (480-406 BC) Greek Playwright

All the money and strength in the world can’t get you the kind of friends that give you all you need to live a happy life. Friends are to be treasured, cherished and preserved all your life so that you don’t lose them. Losing good friends is more painful than losing money or power because they are alive, unique and hard to acquire. Pets can be counted as friends. After all, they are considered to be man’s best friend. People who own pets, especially dogs, have been shown to be less stressed and require fewer visits to their physicians than non-owners. Survival rates for heart-attack victims who had a pet have been shown to be 12% longer than for those who did not have one. Pet owners have also been shown to have lower blood pressure. The reasons are most likely related to an array of psychological factors, such as the fact that owning a pet decreases loneliness and depression, encourages laughter and nurturing, and stimulates exercise. If you don’t have a pet that you can care for, then go adopt one and start living a happier lifestyle with your new friend.

Facets Flower

Special thanks to Tim Coffey for use of his illustration.

Shaping your world

“This is your world. Shape it or someone else will.”

~ Gary Lew

Most of us spend our lives in reaction mode. We sometimes do things without giving much thought to the consequences. But you can change this habit and begin taking control of your life. Your destiny belongs to you, and you only. If you don’t choose your own paths and methods for arriving at your desired destination, then someone or something else will. Take charge of your life everyday by structuring it with a list of goals that are attainable and feasible for you to reach. Get others involved who can support you in any way possible so that you are more able to get where you want to be in life. Choose people who can be trusted, who are loyal and devoted to helping you reach your goals. Then, together, you will shape your  own life WITH their help and not BY them. Once you begin doing this, your passion and soul energy work together to give you the tools to create an extraordinary life by YOUR design. 

Magic Mushrooms

Special thanks to Tim Coffey for use of his illustration.

Changing me; changing you

“Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you’ll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others.”

~ Braude

“You cannot expect to achieve new goals or move beyond your present circumstances unless you change.”

~ Les Brown

Start doing something new in your life that will improve your overall outlook on life and bring you closer to the ones you love the most. Beginning today, you can improve yourself by making changes that will make you a better person and more attractive to those around you. Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously. Choose wisely. Choose honestly. Choose happiness.

Following is a list of the Top 5 things people regretted most before they died:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

Be sure not to allow yourself to experience any of these regrets. Take time to show the ones you love how important they are to you and to your well-being. Just like a flower is to a bee.

Friends for Life

Special thanks to Tim Coffey for use of his illustration.

Marry well and you’ll be well

“A mother should give her children a superabundance of enthusiasm, that after they have lost all they are sure to lose in mixing with the world, enough may still remain to prompt and support them through great actions.”

~ Julius C. Hare (1795-1855)  English Cleric

Children need lots of encouragement everyday to get through their lives. If they are blessed with a mother (and father!) who raise them up in a manner that others admire and desire, then they will most likely go on to have successful families. To accomplish this, you must “marry well.” While the phrase “marry well” is typically used to describe people who marry someone rich, I am talking about something entirely different: genetics. Apparently, longevity genes can be inherited. According to a February 2005 study in Mechanisms of Aging and Development, exceptional longevity and healthy aging is an inherited phenotype across three generations. So, for you single people out there, pick a spouse whose grandparents are still alive. This won’t make you live longer, but it might help your children. Then you’ll have a better chance knowing that your children will care for you as you get older. Bless all the mothers and fathers of the world. Let them know today that you love them for all they have done for you.

Nurturing Flower

Special thanks to Tim Coffey for use of his illustration.

Managing your stress

“One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness.”

~ Josh Billings

“The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present.”

~ Barbara De Angelis

Have you ever held a grudge against someone just because they angered you about something? Do you get bothered at work easily?Whether trivial or not, don’t fret over someone or something and let it affect your health, but rather manage it. Everyone stresses to a certain degree, but not everyone knows how to manage it. The key to accomplishing this is to recognize what the big factors are in your life and how to mitigate them. Constant stress produces high levels of cortisol, which has been shown to impair cognitive functioning and weaken the immune system. I believe that stress kills more people than just about anything else. So, before you move to anger and bitterness toward someone or something, relax and have a ball. It’s a lot more fun and healthier for you.

Having a Ball

Special thanks to Tim Coffey for use of his illustration.

Merry merriment and happy happiness

“A good conscience is a continual Christmas. “

~ Benjamin Franklin

“Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas.”

~ Calvin Coolidge

“Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.”

~ Norman Vincent Peale

“Christmas, my child, is love in action. Every time we love, every time we give, it’s Christmas.”

~ Dale Evans

Wishing everyone a joyous Christmas season filled with lots of love, happiness, prosperity and good health. Remember to do something nice for someone you haven’t talked to in a long time and fill them with your joy.

Forgetting all the wrongs

“To be WRONGED is nothing unless you continue… to REMEMBER it”

~ Confucius 

Confucius, illustrated in Myths & Legends of C...

We’ve all been wronged before to some extent. No matter how badly you’ve been hurt by someone, there is only one real method of erasing it from your life – forgetting about it. If you allow it to fester in your mind and eat away at the part of you that is strong and good, then you will become diseased by it and it will erode away at your soul. If something is bothering you about what somebody did or said to you and it is somehow destroying your life, then stop thinking about it. If whatever they did to you hasn’t hurt you physically, then don’t let that action get the better of you. If you want to move forward with your life and grow bolder from the experience, then forgive them and you’ll be able to go about your life all the wiser and emotionally stronger. Now that’s something you never want to forget.

Emotions in motion

“The sign of intelligent people is their ability to control emotions by the application of reason.”

~ (1904-1990) American Journalist

Marya Mannes

Controlling one’s emotions is so important to one’s character and for so many reasons. People judge us very critically based on how we react to certain actions, verbal statements and/or in-actions. If you want to be considered intelligent by your peers and to strangers that you’re in control of yourself in all situations, then all you have to do is not overreact emotionally. To accomplish this, I have found that it is best to think “big picture” so that you always have a clear perspective of the situation. This gives you some control. It’s also a good idea to count to 10 before you react to something. By doing this, you’ll most likely find that by the time you reach number 1, you will have cooled down enough to handle the matter without so much emotion attached to it. Try it next time and see what happens. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, all is OK now.

Act tactfully

“Tact is the knack of making a point without making an enemy.”

Howard W. Newton

~ Howard W. Newton

tact: a keen sense of what to do or say in order to maintain good relations with others or avoid offense

Would you like to make new friends and keep the friends you have now? Then be more tactful. Saying the right thing at the right time or the wrong thing at the wrong time can be the difference between keeping or losing a friend. And if your words are tactless, then you’ll possibly make an enemy. Words can be either very sharp like a sword or sweet like the taste of honey. Choose your words carefully in every instance when communicating with those you care about. Being tactful in their presence will earn you much respect and admiration. Please consider these tactful words from me to live by.

Your life or lips?

Oliver Goldsmith

Oliver Goldsmith

“You can preach a better sermon with your life than with your lips.”

~ Oliver Goldsmith (1728-1774) Irish Writer

Lip service never did any good for anyone except those who like to hear only what they want to hear. It’s easy to say something to someone and act like you mean it, but without action behind the words they only tickle the ears. Words are powerful but they cannot match the power of action. If you want to touch someone’s heart with your words, then you must accompany the words with liveliness to push them from your lips into the essence of their being. True friendship requires doing whatever is necessary to convince each other’s soul that you will do anything to preserve the friendship or love between you and them. Do more than tell someone you love them or like them — show them! A little action goes a long way. And a lot of action generates remarkable results.

Life in the fast lane

Much of Arthur Schopenhauer's writing is focus...

Arthur Schopenhauer

“Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.”

~ Schopenhauer

Getting old isn’t so bad as long as you look on the bright side of aging – just like Schopenhauer did when he wrote the brilliant statement above. There are definitely advantages to growing old that help people understand life in a more lovely way. When one has matured enough, they can see life as those who are younger cannot because they can see over the “fence” that blinds those who aren’t experienced or mature enough to see over it. Even if someone is able to peer over the “fence” that wiser, aged people can see over, it doesn’t mean that they will comprehend what they see. So, for all you young people reading this, find yourself a mature, wise mentor who can steer you in the right direction as you travel along life’s long, perplexing and troublesome journey. Be sure and bring your crash helmet because people “over the hill” travel faster than you do. Just keep on truckin’ at full speed.

Successfully successful

“Success is not counted by how high you have climbed but by how many people you brought with you.”

~ Wil Rose

Happiness is...

“Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.”

~ Schweitzer

Success is a lot of things to a lot of people but the one thing it isn’t is having lots of possessions and having no one to enjoy them with. If you don’t have others to enjoy all you have obtained or attained in life, then what good is it to have anything at all? Additionally, having friends who like you just because of what you own are not the kind of people you need in your life. Seek people who truly care for you no matter what you have or how successful you are. Finding them can be just as hard if not harder to obtain than any material possessions you may acquire. Close friends are the real treasure in life, so look for them like you would a chest of gold or fine jewels buried on some remote island. When you are happy doing what you like in life with people who can share in your happiness, then you are truly successful.

A happy heart conquers all

Smiling can imply a sense of humour and a stat...

A jolly old man

“Humor is an affirmation of dignity, a declaration of man’s superiority to all that befalls him.”

~ Romain Gary (1914-1980) French Writer

Laughter is the best medicine for depression. This is a widely-known fact. It’s why comedians from all over the world are some of the most beloved people and also among the highest paid performers in the world. The thing that inspires us to laugh is the ability to have a good sense of humor (one that cheers us up and also those around us) that is worth sharing with others. Sharing your humorous personality builds your mental attitude and character in a way that nothing else can. A smile is contagious and so is laughter — so laugh your ass off even when it seems silly to do so in spite of what others may think. You’ll be happy you did. And it’s likely that those who think you’re silly will find you amusing and maybe a bit strange. Now that’s something really worth smiling about. Smile away!

Discover and share your abilities

Amercian philosopher Elbert Hubbard (1856-1915...

Elbert Hubbard

“It is a fine thing to have ability, but the ability to discover ability in others is  the true test.”

~ Elbert Hubbard

How much time do you spend looking for your own abilities to improve yourself compared to the time you spend looking for the abilities in others? Those who are close to you can inspire you more than you can inspire yourself if you just let them. Even those who aren’t close to you can inspire you as well, so it’s better to look for the abilities in others so that you may improve your own abilities through the understanding and appreciation of their abilities. Incorporating other’s abilities into your life will increase your capabilities. And being more capable makes you more stable and able.

Nag, nag, nag!

“People have a way of becoming what you encourage them to be – not what you nag them to be.”

~ S.N. Parker

Nellie the Nagger

nag
1. To scold, complain, or find fault constantly
2. To be a constant source of anxiety or annoyance

If you want to push someone away from you emotionally; destroy their confidence; make them angry; or show your true colors – then constantly tell them how they are doing things wrong or how much you dislike them or dislike what they’re doing. Nagging is not only negative, it’s destructive. It is the cause of many breakups in relationships of all kinds and only shows how immature and selfish you are when doing it. Starting today, make a conscience effort to not nag when dealing with someone you care about. Don’t be a nag. You’ll keep friendships alive and you’ll also mature in the process. Now that’s something to brag about!